| Q |
We go back
a fair number of years you and me mate, and we’ve seen the faces come and go
haven’t we? What’s the main reason so many of ‘em have just given up on
teaching in Thailand? |
| A |
I guess there are a number of reasons. Some people
can't hack it is one and that applies to other jobs, not just teaching. I
know one lad who was on a bender when the Thai economy went tits up in 97,
spent the days before and during supping himself senseless. Thing is he was
a trader at one of the international banks so he had multi-national clients
belling him trying to find out why the baht was in a nose dive while he was
sitting in Bobby s Arms with a stoopid grin on his face. Some people I guess
just see Thailand as one stop on a journey, one chapter in their life if you
like then move on to something else. And maybe those who are real EFL
teachers spend a couple of years dealing with pot plants who go shopping and
find there aren't enough brick walls to bang their heads against. |
| Q |
For the
many years you were in Thailand, you were mainly involved in the private
language schools if I remember right. There was never any saluting the Thai
flag at 7.30 in the morning? |
| A |
7.30 in the morning I was usually saluting the barmaid
in the old Country Road on Soi Cowboy or having my head stuck in a porcelain
dunny... |
| Q |
What’s the worst job you had here? |
| A |
You'll probably delete this but ******** Fuckin
incestuous bunch of sausage jockeys and sex tourists...it was then I decided
to get out of Thailand. |
| Q |
I featured you once in my teacher’s
monthlies as the bloke who was suddenly struck down with a major eye
problem. I think it highlighted the fact that everybody should have some
sort of insurance policy. |
| A |
Yeah but I still ain't got one. Some threads on the
site recently were interesting, things about pensions etc. I m looking at
those at the moment. I was running round thinking I was gonna be 22 for ever
but one day I woke up and found out I was 40 with a baby business and a
girlfriend. Time to check out the FT once in a while. I've always mocked the
saddos who bleat from a bar stool about how the world owes them, buggered if
I'm gonna be one. |
| Q |
Let’s talk about all things Indonesian.
You’ve been there a year or two now. How’s it working out? |
| A |
The first year I was at EF for sins gained in my
earlier life. I was DoS but it soon transpired they didn't want a DoS in the
way I saw the job, rather they wanted a messenger boy. I suggested they
should have hired Fed Ex, among other things...Surabaya where I am now ain't
gonna win any awards for it's aesthetic beauty. OK it's a shit hole but it
is a more Asian place than Jakarta or Bangkok. We still have fast food, mall
culture etc but the expat scene is so spread out you could go days without
seeing one. The school is probably the most teacher friendly place I've been
at and by the way they re looking for teachers starting in October so if you
fancy a part time job 5 days a week, 7 weeks holiday a year check out the
jobs page of www.jakartaguru.com or
PM me! |
| Q |
Is there any of this red tape bullshit
that we have to put with up in Thailand or do they welcome teachers with
open arms? |
| A |
Red tape everywhere mate. They got all these bodies on
life jobs that need paper to push. But are foreigners welcome? OK try these
points being discussed at the moment. Teachers must be over 26 and have 3
years experience. All expats must study and pass an examination in
Indonesian language so they can speak it like a native! Just imagine the CEO
of Unocal, fresh from dealing with corrupt ministers and inefficiency
everywhere coming home and picking up the Indonesian version of Side by Side
for a couple of hours.
All expats have an expat tax levied on them of 100 usd a month regardless of
salary! The company has to pay that but it's another expense. Want to leave
Indonesia? Apply for a re entry permit. I think my last one, a multiple
entry valid for 6 months, cost about 70 usd! Then at the airport you gotta
pay a fiscal tax of about 120 usd each time you leave!!! I go to Singapore
quite often, the flight is the same as the fucking tax! Air Asia fly KL to
JKT cheap as chips. You can do it for maybe 60/70 usd return...plus the
fiskal!!! The Indonesians have to pay it as well, so when you met me and the
girlfriend in Chequers earlier we d contributed 240 usd to the Indonesian
government!!! On top of the cost of the tickets... |
| Q |
I’ve always heard so many negative
things about Jakarta, muggers waiting around on every street corner. Is it
just folklore and urban myth? |
| A |
It's like anywhere, don t go acting the twat in dodgy
areas and you should be ok. People do fall down pot holes once in a while. |
| Q |
So what about the pay rates over there? |
| A |
I guess about 40 000 thb a month is average. You
usually get free accommodation with that or they give you a housing
allowance |
| Q |
Is there much to spend your money on? |
| A |
Heaps. Jakarta has some quality bars, a great nightlife
and some great Indian restaurants. If hiring totty is your thing then Blok M
is a sleazy pick up street of bars. There's an island called Bali which you
may of heard of. Lombok is beautiful with diving and mountain climbing. Well
that's what someone told me. I got a girlfriend in Jakarta so going there
takes a wedge as does research in Singapore for the website...but you can
save if you wanna. Well, that s what someone told me... |
| Q |
You’ve
started off this Teaching in Indonesia website. Go on mate give it a plug. |
| A |
Inspired by the runaway success of ajarn.com I decided
imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
www.jakartaguru.com has been up and
running less than 2 months so it's still a baby. There's little real info
about Indonesia out there, most of it revolves around CYA travel advisories
which paint a grim picture. We're trying to reverse that so as well as the
teaching side we re covering some travel tips beyond the normal Bali bit.
I m doing it with a mate and he's doing the teaching stuff. He s quite
enthusiastic still about it and the last thing I want is a site run by a guy
who's pretty jaded with the present simple and passive students. He brings a
freshness and he is also perhaps more in tune with younger people who are
interested in trying out teaching for a while. |
| Q |
What’s the
most difficult part about running the site? |
| A |
Building awareness. Despite the crap you hear, most
people still don't use the internet beyond e mail or possibly specific
searches so without a mega bucks budget you rely on word of mouth so when
Shaz in Tooting Bec sends an email to Trace in Chipping Sodbury with a link,
Trace will click on the link then forget about it without saving it in
favourites. The trick is to get into some hard media and let them advertise
you. |
| Q |
Your other site is
www.pissedupasia.com.
How many of your students know that you’re the webmaster? |
| A |
None! Students are usually reluctant to talk about
themselves and what they do outside the classroom and I'm the same. I tell
em nothing about myself. They come to learn English not listen to me spout
shite. Plenty of teachers do but not me. |
| Q |
You had
any luck with sponsors and advertisers for the sites? |
| A |
Part of building awareness is networking. I've met a
few key people in the drinks industry here but only once or twice. I should
be out in the bars every night meeting people but that s not possible and
you can t rely on other people who have their own business to run. So what
I'm doing is creating an awareness of Soppy and the site by branching out
into related fields. I m going to be appearing in Jakarta listings magazines
soon, for which I'll be paid and that will reach a whole new audience.
Because I m not able to be out every night, I still need to keep the name or
profile out there so that it starts to gel in people s minds. So the short
answer is no but yes from related fields! |
| Q |
I’ve got
to ask you this but to borrow from your vernacular who’s the biggest numpty
or five-knuckle shuffler you’ve ever worked with? |
| A |
Bangkok had hundreds but I
guess the best double act since Morecambe and Wise has to be those 2
numpties at ELS when we was there. The Ron and Don show featuring Stumpy.
Fuck they were useless incompetents. Sorry, that's not true. They wrote the
book on incompetence. If it was on TV it would've been hilarious. Hoppy was
the biggest insult to the industry and the students. He was an
embarrassment. |
| Q |
And
finally as your name suggests you’re a massive football fan. Is there
anything you miss more than a midweek match under lights, a half-time balti
pie, and a screwed-up Arsenal programme sticking out your back pocket?
|
| A |
Yeah and goin 1 0 up and
playing for a draw. I done my time following the arse, I deserve to wallow
in the glow of glory. I m so used to the crap we used to produce week in
week out I still sometimes look at a picture of Dennis Bergkamp and marvel
that s he s been there 10 years. To hear commentators gush over Henry...we
had Graham Rix who was a left sided midfielder who played behind our left
back Kenny Sansom. I still have dreams where I go into a shop that s selling
a complete set of Arsenal home programmes...The girlfriend is a big football
fan, she watched every game in Euro 2004 and sent me an sms after a Dutch
game saying 'fuckin horse head!' It would be good to take her to a
meaningless away game at some tin pot northern town like Luton or Boro but
those days are gone |
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