James Parsons
James Parsons has spent much of his teaching career hopping between Korea and Thailand. He's dabbled in Thailand's property market and he's done more visa runs than you've had hot dinners.
James. Is that a fair comment to say you've hopped between Thailand and Korea as a teacher? Approximately how many years have you done in each one?
I've taught a bit over five years each in Thailand and Korea.
If you had to pick one negative point about teaching in Korea, what comes instantly to mind?
Three things come instantly to mind
a) "Trickle showers" - it seems that most of my showers in Thailand are quicker than those in Korea.
b) Winter - placing a heater in the bathroom half an hour before going and freezing
c) Winter - arriving at school when it's still dark outside and teaching adults
I suppose that as a nationality to get along with, the Thais would beat the Koreans hands down?
Yes and no. Thailand is far more laid back. In fairness to Korea, anytime you have that many people in such a small area, people tend to be a bit anally retentive and tend not to tell you when something is amiss. The same is true of the Japanese and to some extent the British. The upside of this is that if you leave your briefcase with your monthly salary in cash and an expensive notebook computer in a restaurant, you can call the staff and they'll not only hold the briefcase for you, but might be offended if you try to offer a tip or other reward.
I've taught a few Korean adults myself - always in corporate environments. My memories are not good. I found them very lacking in warmth. Is that your experience as well?
In their own country, that can happen. (I've also seen it happen when they travel in packs in foreign countries.) But, for the most part, the Koreans were VERY gracious hosts to both me and, on the second trip, my younger Thai wife. I've been taken out drinking by adult students, received housewarming presents, had problems with the apartment (lighting, internet, heating) dealt with promptly, etc. I always had somebody to go with me for medical visits, the department of motor vehicles, etc.
In fact, I was let go from my last school. (I think I wasn't serious enough for some parents.) The school was under no obligation to me whatsoever, yet they gave me a 200,000 won motel allowance (the room cost less than half that much) for the three days we had to wait for our flight. The director seemed sad, not mad, about our leaving.
Of course, I'm about twice the age of most of the other teachers, and age carries a lot of weight in Korea.
In your years doing visa runs, you've clocked up an incredible twelve countries. I think we should spend a bit of time on this. Firstly which country has good visa run memories?
Seoul, Korea, surprisingly, was really quick. It wasn't that difficult to find, and if the taxi didn't know where it was, he fell back on his satellite navigation toy. The staff was courteous and there was no waiting.
Kota Bharu, Malaysia - I showed up late, the day before a Malay holiday, without photos. The staff hid outside in the bushes while I went to get photos, and he took my money and stamped my passport outside and I was on my way. (This was in 1983) Kota Bharu is ruled by the Islamic political party, and is open on Sundays. This can get you back to work one day sooner. The Rainbow Inn was a cheap backpacker place and next door to it. (I don't know if it's still there.)
I've also done a "step out/step in" visa run at Sungai Golok (before Cambodia was an option). The train pulled in at noon, and left at 1:30. It's still cheaper to pay for a Cambodian visa than take that tortuous train trip, but, you don't wait at the border and Malaysia doesn't require a visa from most nationalities.
Kuala Lumpur embassy isn't too far from KL center and the subway. They processed me quickly. Hanoi, Vietnam was also quick and wait-free.
Phnom Penh, Cambodia worked with me when I forgot a letter from my boss for a non-immigrant visa. This was in 1997, just before the civil war, and it cost $20 to fax that letter to me. It reached me too late, but still, they tried.
And which one wouldn't you send your worst enemy to?
Manila, Phillippines isn't bad, but it's just such a damn nuisance to reach. Let's be clear, there's nothing "bad" about the embassy, it's just getting around Manila that's such a pest. Kathmandu, Nepal had a unique procedure. I had to come one day, make an appointment to apply, then come back to apply, then come back for the visa. There's nothing "wrong" with Penang, but there's no reason I can think of to rush across on the ferry anymore
And if you had to choose just one hilarious visa run story?
I don't know if these are "hilarious," but Calcutta - our driver was like a Neanderthal who had misunderstood the concept of evolution. He drove to the consulate via Antarctica and charged quadruple the correct fare. We used a different cab the next day, and this fat, drooling, sweaty, dirty troglodyte from the previous day blocked our new driver, jumped out, and starting jumping up and down. I thought he was going to start beating his chest. I was fearful, and we returned to his cab for the return trip. Ambassador taxis look like something out of an Art Crumb comic, and this guy could have been Mr. Natural's evil cousin.
In L.A., I was in town for a funeral. I picked up a visa at that consulate. I hadn't driven in years. One courteous driver, the kind that L.A. used to be famous for, didn't like my left turn, and as she passed, she asked me "Do you have to be such an asshole?" I don't love L.A.
I did a step out/step in at Pailin when the border first opened to avoid a 90 day visit to immigration. I was so big and the road was so bad, I had to drive the motorcycle to town from the border, carrying the driver as a passenger. Later that night, I went for walk, saw something I shouldn't (it smelled like a marijuana harvest), and what may been former Khmer Rouge came out, put me on his motorcycle, rode me around, waited while I experienced Pailin, and then dropped me off at my hotel.
Have you ever sat down and worked out how much you've spent on travelling around to get visas?
I haven't put a cost to it. Eight of the twelve were tourist visas, and a lot of those were just incidental to travel during the four years I took off. Two non-immis were school related and two were my own doing (one because I was over 50 and one because I have a Thai wife.)
I suppose the Malay border runs were about 2,000 baht each. Flying to Cambodia cost about 10,000 with airfare, visa, transportation, etc. Vientiane was train there/fly back. Seoul was a few thousand baht for the motel (which the school paid), a few thousand more for the visa, the train to and from Seoul, etc. I suppose the dedicated visa runs come to over 50,000 baht
I haven't asked you which part of Thailand is home?
Bangkok - I've lived in Ngam Duphli, Kaset, Sapan Mai, Lad Prao mid-way between Jatujuk and Bangkapi, lower Sukhumvit, and Jatujuk. I've also tried maintaining a room in Chiang Mai, once below the night market and once outside the super highway near Lanna Hosptial. "Home" is near Union Mall and St. Johns off of Lad Prao.
You've dabbled in the Thai property market and bought a couple of condos I hear?
We live in a condo in Bangkok. We didn't try leasing it while in Korea. I have a small condo in Chiang Mai as well, but almost never use it.
Do you think you've had your fingers burned with the property market here?
I suppose I'll be burned a little in Chiang Mai because we had a buyer but were in Korea. Now the economy has created a buyer's market. However, the baht has risen against the dollar, so I suppose that we'll at least break even if you figure the profit/loss in dollars. We leave tomorrow to clean up a bit, pack what we don't want to sell with the unit, and leave keys with the condo staff so they can sell. (Are you interested?) I expect the Bangkok unit to go up. Carrefour has opened nearby, Union Mall has opened nearby, and a subway stop is nearby. All of this has happened since we bought it.
Is buying property in Korea easier?
I don't think that anything is easier in Korea than in Thailand. I haven't tried it; I don't know if it's even possible.
You've been married a couple of times as well?
I married in Bangkok in 1983 and filed for divorce in California in 1993. I remarried in Bangkok in 1995. She then went to Japan, decided to stay, and eventually reported me as kidnapped by terrorists. Years later, when I married my current (and final!) spouse, we used a private investigator to track down the 2nd spouse's brother, he put us in touch with her in Japan (where she has a new husband and baby) and she assisted with the divorce. My wife and I finally married on Valentine's Day 2005.
It sounds as though you enjoy a challenge?
No, I'm old, fat, and lazy. I don't like challenges anymore, though they do keep life interesting.
What about future plans?
I'd rather not just grow old while waiting for a feeble social security payment to kick in. I'd like to learn ventriloquism and try using it in the classroom, and maybe as a retirement sideline someday. I'd also like to get off my lazy butt (or on it, actually) and try my hand at websites. My wife will kill me for not saying "having a baby."